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THE POWER OF THE RIGHT QUESTION

Derek Hagen

drawing of a question leading to insight

❝The quality of our decisions is determined by the quality of the questions we ask.❞ -Tony Robbins

Imagine sitting at a coffee shop, talking about daily life with a friend. Usually, your friend asks, "How was your day?" Today is different. Today, your friend asks, “What did you learn today?”


That slight shift turns an ordinary conversation into an opportunity for reflection and growth.


The right question can transform a simple chat into a catalyst for personal insight.


UNDERSTANDING THE TWO TYPES OF QUESTIONS


In our daily conversations, we often use two types of questions: open-ended and closed-ended.


Open-ended questions are questions that invite exploration. When you ask, “What are your thoughts on your ideal vacation?” you encourage the other person to share details, dreams, and even hidden concerns. Open-ended questions broaden the conversation and let ideas flow naturally.


drawing of open-ended questions

Closed questions, like “Do you plan to retire at 65?” demand a quick, focused answer—often a yes or no, or a simple fact. They are ideal for confirming details and steering the conversation when clarity is needed.


drawing of closed-ended questions

While open-ended questions help uncover deeper insights, closed-ended questions are essential for honing in on specifics. The key is not to choose one exclusively but to use them both, tailoring your questions to the flow of the conversation and the needs of the moment.

drawing of the spectrum of open-ended and closed-ended questions



Money Scripts® are subconscious beliefs we have about money that we learn when we are growing up in our family systems. A Money Script can be anything, but they tend to fall into four categories. Learn what categories your Money Scripts fall into.




THE BENEFITS OF ASKING BETTER QUESTIONS


The power of the right question isn’t just theoretical—it has real-life benefits. Think about planning for your future: Whether it’s about retirement, budgeting, or personal growth, the questions you ask can open doors or close them.


When you use a closed question, like “Do you feel confident about your plan?” you get a concise answer that helps you understand where you stand. This clarity is invaluable in financial and life planning, where specifics matter.


drawing of a person answering a closed-ended question

Conversely, when you ask an open-ended question such as “What does your ideal financial future look like?” you invite a broader discussion. Clients and friends can share not just numbers, but aspirations, values, and even fears. This richer context empowers you to make decisions that align with your true goals.


drawing of a person answering an open-ended question

Using the right blend of questions helps create a conversation that is both focused and expansive. A well-placed closed question can steer a conversation toward actionable details, while an open-ended question can keep it creative and insightful. It’s like having the perfect toolkit for every conversation—ensuring that each discussion leads to better decisions and deeper connections.


drawing of the spectrum of open and closed-ended questions with encouragement to use both

Every conversation you have—whether with a friend, a partner, or a financial advisor—offers an opportunity to learn and grow. By choosing your questions wisely, you create space for honest dialogue, deeper understanding, and better decisions.


You get one life; live intentionally.


 

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REFERENCES AND INFLUENCES


Miller, William: Listening Well

Miller, William & Stephen Rollnick: Motivational Interviewing

Newcomb, Sarah: Loaded

Pennebaker, James & Joshua Smyth: Opening Up by Writing It Down

Rosenberg, Marshall: Nonviolent Communication

Sofer, Oren Jay: Say What You Mean

Solin, Dan: Ask

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About the Author

Derek Hagen, CFP®, CFA, FBS®, CFT™, CIPM is a Financial Behavior Specialist, Life Planning Consultant, Author, Speaker, and Stick-Figure Illustrator. He simplifies topics about meaningful living, including philosophy, mindfulness, psychology, and money.

Work With

Derek at MQ

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