DOING IS THE FIRST STEP TO BECOMING
❝You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.❞ -Zig Ziglar
Imagine you wanted to feel more confident with your money or in your career, relationships, or hobbies. Conventional wisdom might suggest waiting for confidence to arrive before taking bold action. But here’s the catch: confidence rarely comes first. Often, it’s the result of doing.
This is where the behavioral activation approach comes into play. Unlike the notion of “faking it until you make it,” which can feel disingenuous or even lead to imposter syndrome, behavioral activation encourages genuine action that builds confidence over time.
FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT
“Fake it until you make it” is a popular mantra, but let’s unpack it. The idea is to act as if you were confident in whatever you wanted to do even if you don’t feel it yet, hoping that the feelings will eventually follow.
For some, this approach can be empowering, but for others, it feels weird or inauthentic. Pretending to be someone you’re not can create tension, leading to thoughts like:
I'm a fraud.
Someone will find out.
If they only knew the real me.
This disconnect often spirals into imposter syndrome—the persistent fear of being “found out.” While faking it can sometimes help, it risks reinforcing the belief that you aren’t good enough.
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Money is the number one source of stress in people's lives, above work, health, and kids. People with money disorders typically have faulty beliefs about money and cannot change their behavior even though they know they should. |
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BEHAVIORAL ACTIVATION APPROACH
Behavioral activation offers an alternative: start with small, intentional actions. Instead of waiting for confidence or pretending it’s already there, you do the thing anyway. You might even ask yourself how you would act if you already knew how to do it.
Confidence grows as a byproduct of your actions.
Here’s the psychology behind it. When we feel bad, we tend to withdraw, which leads to a cycle; feeling bad deflates our motivation, which makes us lose our sense of meaning, which makes us feel bad, and on and on it goes.
Behavioral activation breaks this loop. By taking even a small step—like reaching out to a colleague or trying a new skill—you create a new cycle; you do the thing (whatever that "thing" is), and you'll start to feel better, which gives you a sense of meaning and gives you the confidence to keep doing more things.
Each step reinforces the next, building confidence naturally through experience, not pretending.
Action isn’t just the antidote to fear; it’s the foundation of confidence. While “faking it” might work in certain situations, starting with small, real actions aligns your behavior with your authentic self.
So, how would you act if you knew confidence would come later? You don’t need to have all the answers or feel ready - just start. One step is all it takes to begin closing the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
You get one life; live intentionally.
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REFERENCES AND INFLUENCES
Adams, Scott: How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big
Clear, James: Atomic Habits
Fogg, B.J.: Tiny Habits
Manson, Mark: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
Reivich, Karen & Andrew Shatte: The Resilience Factor
Wallace, David Foster: This is Water
