Acceptance and Action: Moving from "But" to "And" to "So"

drawing of being stuck vs. moving forward

❝The same wave can be a source of pain or a beautiful, flowing grace and source of power.❞ -Trey Anastasio

I once had the opportunity to explore the Grand Canyon on a six-day rafting trip down the Colorado River. Having experienced a shorter trip before, I was excited for this longer adventure—especially with my wife. I remembered the thrill of cold water on a hot day, and I anticipated warm, sunny weather that would perfectly complement the canyon’s scenery.

Instead, it rained almost every day. I had packed for hot weather, yet the rain was cold, the clouds blocked the sun, and even the downpour itself felt harsh. It would have been easy to be upset—after all, why couldn’t the weather be better on a once-in-a-lifetime trip?

But rather than dwelling on disappointment, I chose to find the bright side. Despite the rain, I was still inside the majestic Grand Canyon for a full week. The persistent rain created stunning waterfalls and even fostered camaraderie among our group, as we shared a collective gripe about the weather. There’s a world of difference between saying, “I’m on the trip of a lifetime, but it’s raining,” and, “I’m on the trip of a lifetime, and it’s raining, so I’m going to appreciate these waterfalls.”

MUCH OF LIFE IS OUT OF OUR CONTROL

Our plans, no matter how carefully crafted, can be upended by forces beyond our control. Just like the shifting weather on our rafting trip, unexpected twists can arise in every aspect of our lives. We set our expectations high, yet the future often takes a winding path we never anticipated.

This unpredictability isn’t a flaw—it’s simply the nature of life. When we learn to accept that we can’t control every element, we free ourselves to focus on what truly matters: how we respond and adapt.

drawing of much of life is out of our control

Resilience is the ability to bounce back (or grow) from stress and adversity. The ability to maintain physical, mental, and emotional well-being in the face of setbacks. Learn more about how resilient you are.

ACCEPTANCE AND MOVING FORWARD

Language shapes our mindset. Consider the impact of three small words: “but,” “and,” and “so.”

When you say, “I’m on an amazing trip, but it’s raining,” the word “but” cancels out the positive. It implies that the rain negates the entire experience.

Now, imagine saying, “I’m on an amazing trip, and it’s raining.” The word “and” accepts both realities. It acknowledges the rain without taking away from the adventure.

Finally, “so” bridges acceptance with action. “I’m on an amazing trip, and it’s raining, so I’m going to enjoy these stunning waterfalls.” This word propels you forward, transforming acceptance into positive action.

Life rarely follows our neat plans. Just as a rafting trip can be transformed by an unexpected downpour, our lives can be reshaped by how we choose to respond to surprises. When we shift our language from “but” to “and” to “so,” we unlock the power to accept what comes our way and move forward with purpose.

drawing of the difference between "but" "and" and "so"

Next time life surprises you, remember: every unexpected wave is an opportunity to say “yes” to the journey. Embrace the unpredictability, adapt your course, and let your response create a new, brighter path forward.

You get one life; live intentionally.

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