GROWING YOUR COMFORT ZONE
❝Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of them.❞ -Jim Carrey
Mike and David are at the local college bar, enjoying happy hour drinks, when David notices a group of girls at a nearby table and suggests to Mike that they go talk to them. Mike would love to talk to them but doesn't know what he would say. He doesn't want to interrupt them. And he certainly doesn't want to say something stupid!
David, unable to convince Mike to go with him, goes to talk to them. He chats with them for five minutes and comes back. They wanted nothing to do with him. Mike is glad that he didn't go make a fool of himself, too! David is glad because he met a few people.
Mike's fear of embarrassment kept him from talking to strangers, and it worked. He didn't talk to anyone and didn't feel embarrassed. He also doesn't have as many friends, go on as many dates, or have as many connections as David.
What keeps us safe in the short run often derails us in the long run. Overcoming our short-term fears helps us grow our comfort zones, and in doing so, we reap longer-term benefits.
PEOPLE DON'T NOTICE...OR CARE
It feels like people notice us. If I'm walking through a grocery store and accidentally bump my cart into the oranges, I'm inclined to think everyone saw me, and so I might leave the produce section and come back when all those judgy people have moved on.
But here's the thing - nobody noticed it. And even if someone did, they don't care.
Psychologists call this the spotlight effect. It feels like everyone is watching and judging everything we do. It's natural because we notice everything we do. However, everyone else is too busy worrying about what you think of them.
The number of people who notice something that you judge as bad is small. Of that small number of people who noticed, most people don't even care. And even if they cared, they don't know the full story.
The number of people who first notice what you did, then care, and know the full context is so small it may as well be zero!
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The Meaning in Life Questionnaire assesses two dimensions of meaning in life, the presence of and search for meaning. Presence measures how full you feel your life is of meaning. Search measures how engaged and motivated you are in efforts to find meaning in your life. |
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PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE
When we focus on our short-run fear of embarrassment, we don't take chances. We don't pursue (or even know about) opportunities that are available to us. That's natural, of course. Our fear is keeping us safe. Our fear is rooted in the ancient part of our brain that is wired to want to stay in the tribe.
But even though we're wired for ancient times, we don't live in ancient times. Social approval and avoiding rejection were critical for surviving for our ancestors, but modern society isn't as brutal! The risks of putting ourselves out there are not as threatening as we think they are.
Recognizing that others are far less focused on our mistakes than we think helps us take more chances. And with more chances comes more opportunities.
Once you start putting yourself out there more, you'll realize that nobody cares. And once you get a stack of nobody-cares experiences, you'll be unstoppable.
You get one life; live intentionally.
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REFERENCES AND INFLUENCES
Adams, Scott: How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big Burkeman, Oliver: The Antidote Haidt, Jonathan: The Happiness Hypothesis Manson, Mark: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
Robin, Vicki: Your Money or Your Life Sivers, Derek: How to Live Wallace, David Foster: This is Water Ware, Bronnie: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying
Such an inspiring read! 🌱 Stepping out of your comfort zone is where true growth happens, and your article captures that perfectly. It's motivating to see practical tips on how to challenge yourself and embrace new opportunities. At Industrial Cart, we believe in constantly pushing boundaries, whether it’s through innovation or finding better ways to serve our customers. Keep up the fantastic work! And for anyone looking for top-quality tools to tackle their next big project, Visit us at IndustrialCart!