WE CAN GET USED TO ANYTHING

❝The fact that we adapt to our circumstances so quickly is sometimes good news and sometimes bad news, but it's almost always a surprise.❞ -Daniel Gilbert

Setting up camp on a hot summer day, I notice a tick on my dog. I pick it off, fling it into the woods, and go on about my day.

Not even five minutes later, I notice another tick on my dog. Then I feel one crawling on my leg, then another!

Gross!

I learn that this is a bad time for ticks at this campsite. I've picked so many ticks off me that I am starting to feel phantom ticks - when you feel creepy crawly feeling for no reason!

Three days later, while eating breakfast, I casually flick off four ticks crawling on me, and get some tweezers to detach one that bit into me. No big deal. That's just what you do.

In a matter of days, I went from being really creeped out about ticks to letting them crawl all over me like it's no big deal.

Humans can get used to anything, good or bad. You might have heard of this as hedonic adaptation.

WHAT HEDONIC ADAPTATION IS

Hedonic adaptation is effectively the idea that we get used to things. We get used to good things, like more money, better relationships, more time off, and bigger houses. We also get used to bad things, like physical injuries, getting fired, losing loved ones, having to downsize.

Whatever our circumstances are, we get used to them.

Think of it like speed versus acceleration. Speed is constant. We don't notice that the rock that we live on (Earth) is spinning at 1,000 miles per hour, or that we're spinning around a star (Sun) at about 67,000 per hour. Less dramatic, we don't feel like we're moving 500 miles per hour in a plane, or 70 miles per hour in a car.

Those speeds are constant, and we get used to constants.

Think about accelerating or decelerating, though. We certainly notice when we're taking off or landing. We notice when we have to slam on the breaks. We notice changes. Changes represent a break in the status quo.

The same is true of our circumstances in life. Many argue that we have a baseline level of happiness. Some people's baseline is higher than others, but each person has their own baseline level of happiness. This is our level of contentment when we're constant.

Just like with speed, we do notice when things change. Imagine something good happens. We feel really good about that.

This could be any positive change - money, relationships, residence, job, etc.

As you might be aware if you've ever gotten a raise, you quickly get used to it. It becomes the new status quo and we set out looking for a new fix. People get a raise and it quickly becomes not enough. People find a perfect relationship and find themselves unhappy. They move into a bigger house only to find they now want a nicer patio. They get promoted and long for the days when they didn't have so much responsibility.

The same is true on the downside. Imagine something awful happening. It could be the opposite of the examples we used before. You might lose a bunch of money, lose a relationship, have to move our of your home, or get fired.

Humans are resilient. We get used to negative events, as well. People who lose the use of their legs, for example, after a year or two of mourning, find themselves just as happy as they were before.

A grateful person exhibits certain traits. Rather than feeling deprived in life, a grateful person experiences a sense of abundance. A grateful person acknowledges the contributions of others to his/her success and well-being, appreciates life's simple pleasures, and acknowledges the importance of experiencing and expressing gratitude.

USING HEDONIC ADAPTATION

The trick is not to let external circumstances dictate how you feel. Happiness isn't something out there in the world. Happiness is right here, right now.

Practicing acceptance helps you appreciate the present moment, no matter what's going on. Acceptance is about letting go of things over which you don't have control and focusing your efforts on things you can control - the actions you can take or your attitude about a particular situation.

Acceptance, by the way, does not mean letting people walk all over you. It doesn't mean being happy about negative things that have happened. And it's certainly not about viewing your current circumstances as a permanent prison.

Acceptance requires connecting to your experience in the present moment and moving forward in a direction you want to go. Having gratitude for where you are and ambition about where you are going - at the same time.

Life happens, but if I can get used to ticks crawling all over me, I can get used to anything.

So can you!

You get one life; live intentionally.

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REFERENCES AND INFLUENCES

Ariely, Dan & Jeff Kreisler: Dollars and Sense Ben-Shahar, Tal: Happier, No Matter What Dunn, Elizabeth & Michael Norton: Happy Money Emmons, Robert: THANKS! Frankl, Viktor: Yes to Life, In Spite of Everything Gilbert, Daniel: Stumbling on Happiness Haidt, Jonathan: The Happiness Hypothesis Hanh, Thich Nhat: No Mud, No Lotus Reivich, Karen & Andrew Shatte: The Resilience Factor