FINDING BETTER PROBLEMS
❝The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.❞ -Theodore Rubin
There have been times when I was out of shape. And yes, there are problems associated with that. I couldn’t walk up a few flights of stairs without huffing and puffing. Running a mile would leave me breathless, and my legs would ache.
But here’s the thing: even when I was in great shape, I still had problems. Sure, I could climb stairs easily, but exercising took time out of my day. Sometimes, I'd even injure myself from pushing too hard.
It turns out that no matter what I chose—being in shape or not—there were problems either way.
It’s not just about exercise, though.
Being unemployed has problems, just like having a job has problems.
Being mindless comes with problems, just like being mindful comes with problems.
Being late comes with problems, just like being early has problems.
Being good with money has problems, just like being bad with money has problems.
Since problems are inevitable, the question isn’t how to avoid them—it’s how to choose better problems.
PROBLEMS ARE GUARANTEED
It might sound like a cliché, but it’s true: problems are guaranteed.
Meditation teacher Sam Harris puts it well: "Life is an unending series of complications, so it doesn't make sense to be surprised by the arrival of the next one."
Author Mark Manson echoes this sentiment: "Life is a never-ending stream of problems that must be confronted, surmounted, and/or solved... Problems are what keep us occupied and give our lives meaning."
And yet, despite how often we hear it, many of us still live as though having problems is... well, a problem. We get disappointed when life throws a curveball, or when something sets us back.
The key is to shift our perspective: instead of hoping problems won’t happen, expect them, and learn from them.
This mindset frees us up to make a choice: We can choose better problems.
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The Three Dimension Meaning in Life Scale assesses three dimensions of meaning in life: coherence, purpose, and significance. Coherence is the feeling that your life makes sense. Purpose is having direction in life. Significance is the belief that your life has value. |
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FINDING BETTER PROBLEMS
Finding "better" problems means choosing the ones that will benefit you in the long run.
Not working might seem appealing—you can sleep in, have no boss, and do whatever you want. But you’ll struggle to pay your bills and save for the future.
These are bad problems.
Having a job comes with a different set of problems: schedules, accountability, and deadlines. But those problems help you build a future.
These are better problems.
Being mindless is easy, but you’ll live life on autopilot. A better problem is the effort it takes to train yourself to be more mindful, even if it means facing uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
Being late gives you a little more time for yourself, but it comes with the cost of being seen as unreliable. A better problem is giving up a bit of time to be punctual, gaining trust and new opportunities in return.
Choosing better problems, adjusting your expectations, and learning from the ones you face will not only lead to personal growth—it will increase your overall satisfaction with life.
So, what kind of problems do you want to have?
You get one life; live intentionally.
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REFERENCES AND INFLUENCES
Ben-Shahar, Tal: Happier, No Matter What Biwas-Diener, Robert & Todd Kashdan: The Upside of Your Dark Side
Bloom, Paul: The Sweet Spot Burkeman, Oliver: The Antidote Emmons, Robert: THANKS! Haidt, Jonathan: The Happiness Hypothesis Hanh, Thich Nhat: No Mud, No Lotus Harris, Sam: Waking Up Irvine, William: A Slap in the Face Ivtzan, Itai, Tim Lomas, Kate Hefferon & Piers Worth: Second Wave Positive Psychology Kabat-Zinn, Jon: Wherever You Go, There You Are Reivich, Karen & Andrew Shatte: The Resilience Factor Wallace, David Foster: This is Water
