THE BEST COMMUNICATION SKILLS FOR BETTER CONVERSATIONS
- Derek Hagen
- 5 days ago
- 3 min read
❝There's a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak.❞ -Simon Sinek
The best communicators don't have all the right words. They make space for real understanding.
WHY LISTENING MATTERS MORE THAN TALKING
Most of us believe we’re good listeners, until we notice how often we’re really just waiting for our turn to talk.
It’s natural to want to share advice, fix problems, or relate with our own story. But sometimes, what people need most isn’t our wisdom, it’s our presence.
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When we truly listen, we do more than hear the words. We make people feel seen, understood, and valued.
That’s where connection happens.
GET COMFORTABLE WITH SILENCE
When we talk with someone, silence can feel awkward.
We rush to fill it, thinking the conversation has stalled or that we’ve said something wrong. But often, silence means the other person is thinking. They just need a moment to process.
If you jump in too soon, you might interrupt something important that’s forming.
Try this: after asking a question, count to five before you speak again. Notice what happens in the space.
Silence is not a failure of communication. It’s where deeper thoughts begin to surface.
RESIST THE URGE TO FIX
When someone opens up about a struggle, our instinct is to help—to solve the problem, offer advice, or share what worked for us.
But as financial planning pioneer Marty Kurtz once said:
“Advice kills conversation.”
There's a reason they say that unsolicited advice is the junk mail of life.
That doesn’t mean advice is bad. It just means timing matters.
When we give advice too quickly, we send the message: I already know what’s best for you. Even if our intentions are good, it shuts down connection.
Instead, try to understand before you respond. Ask one more question. Reflect what you heard.
It’s amazing how often people find their own solutions once they feel fully heard.
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LEAD WITH CURIOSITY
If silence is the space and restraint is the discipline, curiosity is the spark that makes communication meaningful.
Curiosity says, I want to understand you. It shifts conversations from reaction to discovery.
Instead of assuming, I know what they mean; curiosity asks, What else might be going on here?
It helps us trade judgment for openness and allows relationships to deepen.
THE HUMAN SIDE OF CONNECTION
Good communication isn’t about having the perfect response. It’s about presence.
When we hold space for silence, listen with genuine curiosity, and resist the urge to fix, we give others something rare... our full attention.
And that’s what builds trust, connection, and understanding.
You get one life; live intentionally.
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REFERENCES AND INFLUENCES
Hagen, Derek: Your Money, Your Values, and Your Life
Klontz, Brad, Rick Kahler & Ted Klontz: Facilitating Financial Health
Klontz, Brad & Ted Klontz: Mind Over Money
Miller, William: Listening Well
Miller, William & Stephen Rollnick: Motivational Interviewing
Newcomb, Sarah: Loaded
Rosenberg, Marshall: Nonviolent Communication
Sofer, Oren Jay: Say What You Mean
Solin, Dan: Ask
