WHY EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE COMES FIRST IN FINANCIAL DECISIONS
- Derek Hagen
- Aug 7
- 3 min read
❝You can't teach someone who isn't ready to learn. And readiness is emotional, not intellectual.❞ -Timothy Gallwey
Before you can take action with your money, you need to feel ready. And readiness starts with emotion, not information.
I’ve had an estate plan for years. It’s mostly up to date, but I’ve been meaning to make a few changes. Nothing big; just a few tweaks. I even have someone ready to help me with it.
And yet… I haven’t touched it.
Not because I don’t know it’s important. I do. But knowing isn’t the issue.
There’s just no emotional urgency. It feels like a “should,” not a “need.” So I put it off.
That’s the thing about money decisions: logic alone usually isn’t enough.
We act when something feels urgent, meaningful, or connected to who we are.
Good advice is everywhere. You can Google it, ask a friend, or plug your data into an AI tool. That’s not the hard part.
If you're interested in values-based financial planning, here's how to work with a Money Quotient-trained financial life planner.
The hard part is acting on it.
You might know what to do next, rebalance your accounts, update your insurance, revisit your estate plan, but feel frozen anyway.
Sometimes it’s grief. Sometimes it’s stress. Sometimes it’s just life being too heavy.
Until you’re emotionally ready, even great advice won’t land.
TRUSTING YOURSELF STARTS WITH AWARENESS
Emotional intelligence, or EQ, isn’t about being happy all the time. It’s about learning how to understand your emotions and how they show up in your money life.
It’s what helps you pause before reacting.
It’s what helps you notice when fear is making decisions for you.
It’s what helps you trust your gut because you’ve taken the time to listen to it.
When you have emotional intelligence, you’re more likely to follow through because it makes sense to you at a deeper level.
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The Value Compass is designed to help you gain insight into your own values and how they guide your thoughts, feelings, and actions. It can be used to explore your personal goals and motivations, as well as to gain a better understanding of others' values and how they may differ from your own. |
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THE REAL REASON YOU MIGHT BE STUCK
If you’ve ever felt torn between what you “should” do and what you want to do—or even just stuck in place—it’s likely not because you’re lazy or confused. It’s probably because something emotional is pulling you in two directions.
That internal tug-of-war is called ambivalence. And it’s emotional, not logical.
When you ignore that tension, decisions stay stuck. When you notice it, name it, and get curious about it, you start to move again.
So much of financial advice focuses on what to do. But the most powerful shifts often come when we slow down and ask why we haven’t already done it.
Emotional intelligence is the work beneath the work. It’s what helps you take the advice you already know and finally make it happen.
You get one life; live intentionally.
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REFERENCES AND INFLUENCES
Klontz, Brad, Rick Kahler & Ted Klontz: Facilitating Financial Health
PositivePsychology.com: Emotional Intelligence Masterclass
