GO WHILE YOU STILL CAN

Derek Hagen
58 minutes ago
4 min read

Sketch: two-panel — flat lifeline on left labeled "TIME IN LIFE MATTERS," declining health curve on right labeled "BUT SO DOES QUALITY OF LIFE"

❝We don't beat the Reaper by living longer. We beat the Reaper by living well and living fully.❞ -Randy Paucsh

Not all years are created equal.

I used to play squash for two hours in the morning and still have a full day left in me. Now I play two hours, and I'm rickety for the rest of the day. In ten years, maybe it's one hour. Maybe less.

Nothing dramatic happened. I didn't get injured. I just got older. The game is the same. I'm not.

The time you have left and the quality of that time are two different things. And if you only think about one of them, you'll miss something important.

YOUR TIME IS FINITE

Everyone knows this. Almost nobody sits with it long enough for it to change anything.

You were born. One day you'll die. Everything between those two points is your lifeline.

You've already lived some of it. Some portion of that bar is behind you.

Sketch: lifeline with left portion filled black, labeled "YOU'VE ALREADY LIVED THIS"

What's left is the rest of your life... assuming everything goes well.

Sketch: lifeline with right portion labeled "THIS IS WHAT'S LEFT"

Of course, that's an oversimplification. You don't actually know how much is left. The right edge of that bar isn't fixed.

Sketch: lifeline with right edge curled and uncertain, labeled "UNKNOWN"

THEIR TIME IS FINITE, TOO... AND DOESN'T LINE UP WITH YOURS

Not only do you have a lifeline. Everyone you love has one. And they don't overlap the way you might assume.

Your lifeline and your spouse's cover different spans of time. One of you will likely outlive the other.

Sketch: YOU and YOUR SPOUSE lifelines stacked, different lengths

Your parents' lifelines are further along than yours.

Sketch: YOU and YOUR PARENTS lifelines stacked, parents' bar heavily filled

Your kids' lifelines extend well past yours.

Sketch: YOU and YOUR KIDS lifelines stacked, kids' bar extending far right

Even your dog (or cat).

I might have 40 years left. But since I value time with my mom, I don't have 40 years. The windows don't align. That doesn't have to be a morbid thought. It's a planning thought.

Sketch: YOU, YOUR SPOUSE, YOUR PARENTS, YOUR KIDS, and YOUR DOG lifelines stacked, dog's bar nearly fully shaded

This questionnaire is an instrument that taps into ten valued domains of living. It assesses the perceived importance of each of these ten life domains and the degree to which you are living in accordance with this perceived importance.

NOT ALL YEARS ARE CREATED EQUAL

Even if you knew exactly how much time you had left, time alone doesn't tell the whole story. A year now is not the same as a year in thirty years. Your physical abilities change. Your cognitive abilities change. The things you can do — and the things the people you love can do — gradually narrow.

Sketch: health on y-axis, time on x-axis

My squash game is already telling me this. I just haven't fully listened yet.

Physical and cognitive health decline over time.

Sketch: health on y-axis, time on x-axis — flat line first, then declining curve

In addition to your lifeline, you have a healthline. The healthline declines over time. And just like the lifeline, everyone's is different.

Sketch: YOU, YOUR SPOUSE, YOUR PARENTS, YOUR KIDS, YOUR DOG — all with healthlines declining at different rates

GO WHILE YOU STILL CAN

Two couples. Two different reasons they never went.

Mike and Emily wanted to take a long trip to wine country. They planned it for years. It never seemed to be the right time. Then Mike died suddenly. Emily can't take that trip with her best friend and husband anymore.

They ran out of time.

Sketch: YOU and YOUR SPOUSE healthlines, red arrow pointing to end of spouse's bar labeled "CONSIDER TIME"

Chris and Jessica wanted to ride their motorcycles across the country, stopping at every national park in the lower 48. They saved for it. They planned the route. They never went. Now Chris has early-stage Alzheimer's, and Jessica no longer has the physical ability to ride for that long.

They ran out of health.

Sketch: YOU and YOUR SPOUSE healthlines, red shaded triangle at end of both bars labeled "CONSIDER QUALITY"

Two different problems. Same result. The trip never happened.

It's not just partners. How much time do you have left with your parents? And how much of that time will they be healthy enough to really be present with you?

Sketch: YOU and YOUR PARENTS healthlines, red accent showing the narrowing window

It goes the other way, too. How much time will your kids have with you while you're still mentally and physically healthy?

Sketch: YOU and YOUR KIDS healthlines, red accent on your declining healthline

How much time do you have left with your dog (or cat)?

Sketch: YOU and YOUR DOG healthlines, dog's bar nearly fully shaded

DESIGN YOUR LIFE ACCORDINGLY

Most people think about retirement as a financial problem. Accumulate enough, then stop working. But the financial question only makes sense once you've answered the life question: what do you actually want to do, and with whom, and while you both still can?

Your money is a tool. So is your time. Both are finite. Both are declining in quality. The window when you, your spouse, your parents, and your kids are all healthy enough to experience life together is smaller than you think... and it's getting smaller.

The squash I play today is better than the squash I'll play in ten years. The trips I take with my mom now are trips I might not be able to take in five. The experiences I have with the people I love exist inside a window that neither of us can fully see.

Go while you still can.

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