TRY BEFORE YOU COMMIT
❝Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.❞ -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Most major life decisions can be tested on a small scale before you make them permanent.
When I first thought about playing ukulele, I wasn't sure I'd like it. So I bought a cheap one to see if I'd actually play, see if I was any good, and find out if it was the kind of hobby I'd stick with. Turns out I enjoyed it, so I invested in a much more expensive one.
When I told a friend about this he laughed. He just buys the expensive quality version of whatever hobby he's getting into. I asked him what happens if he doesn't like kite surfing or the banjo or cross-country skiing. No problem, he said. He sells the gear, usually at a loss, but the loss is still less than buying the cheap version first.
Fair enough. That works when the stakes are low and the transaction costs are manageable. It works less well when the decision is bigger and harder to undo.
THE PROBLEM WITH BIG DECISIONS
Major life decisions tend to go one of two ways. Some people jump right in. Others freeze. In both cases, the decision is being made based on imagination rather than experience.
The jumpers tend to overestimate the benefits and underestimate the costs. Psychologists call this optimism bias. They picture the RV as freedom and adventure without picturing the black water tank.
They picture Arizona winters as warm and sunny without picturing June.
The people who freeze tend to do the opposite. They overestimate the costs and underappreciate the benefits. This is negativity bias. Someone might want to retire but can't bring themselves to spend the savings they've accumulated, because spending down feels like a one-way ticket to running out of money.
Even people who were excited to retire can find the reality surprising. Seven Saturdays in a row with your partner, no structure, and nowhere to be can sounds like a dream until it isn't.
Both failure modes share the same root: the imagined future stripped out the friction.
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The Value Compass is designed to help you gain insight into your own values and how they guide your thoughts, feelings, and actions. It can be used to explore your personal goals and motivations, as well as to gain a better understanding of others' values and how they may differ from your own. |
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ANYTHING CAN BE TESTED
Almost every major life decision has a smaller version you can try first. The experiment replaces imagination with information. It doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to tell you something you didn't already know.
Rent an RV or Sprinter van for two weeks before buying one. Find out what living in a small space is actually like. The black water tank will tell you everything.
Rent in Arizona or Florida for a month, in multiple seasons, before committing to a move. One February visit doesn't tell you about June.
Take a one- or two-month sabbatical before retiring. Find out what full-time togetherness actually feels like before it's permanent. Find out whether you have a plan for your days or whether the days just happen to you.
Practice spending in retirement before you retire. Splurge on something small and notice how it feels. Find out if spending down is psychologically manageable.
DESIGN YOUR EXPERIMENTS
Most planning focuses on whether you can afford something. It doesn't ask whether you've tested the assumption underneath it. Buying a house in Arizona, an RV, a boat, or a lake home are expensive mistakes if it turns out you don't actually like the life that comes with them.
Build experiments into the plan. Budget for them. Schedule them. Treat them as a required step rather than an optional one.
Most major life decisions aren't irreversible. They're just expensive. And most of the expensive ones haven't been tested first.
The experiment is cheaper than the mistake.
You get one life; live intentionally.
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REFERENCES AND INFLUENCES
Adams, Scott: How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big
Ariely, Dan: Predictably Irrational
Burkeman, Oliver: Four Thousand Weeks
Gilbert, Daniel: Stumbling on Happiness
Kahneman, Daniel: Thinking Fast and Slow
Kinder, George & Mary Rowland: Life Planning for You
