YOUR PLAN IS TOO SMALL

Derek Hagen
13 minutes ago
4 min read

Hand-drawn Venn diagram: "What You Think You Want" and "What You Actually Want"; black overlap labeled "I Didn't Think This Was Possible"

❝We never knew we could want more than that out of life.❞ -Billy Joel, Scenes From an Italian Restaurant

The planning process doesn't just get you somewhere. It expands where you thought you could go.

I'm on the fourth floor of the library looking out over the campus. I like this spot. It's quiet and peaceful. I'm studying for one of my economics classes. I have too many classes this semester. Plus, I'm working full-time at the bank. I'm tired, but I know I need to get through this so I can get a job somewhere.

The next day I have a conversation with a professor about what to do after college. He suggests a PhD program in economics. I voice concern over five more years of school, so he suggests a master's degree instead.

Still uncertain, I talk to another professor who thinks law school is the answer.

I've had it. I wonder why nobody suggests making money. I want advice on what kind of job I should get.

Sensing my frustration, my professors ask: "Derek, what do you want to do?"

...crickets...

I get mad. I wanted them to tell me what to do. It occurs to me that I've never thought about this before. I have no idea what I want to do. I never thought it was an option to choose for myself what I want.

THE TRAP OF SELF-LIMITING BELIEFS

Most people come to the planning process with a Point B already in mind. The problem is that Point B was chosen under constraints; what seemed realistic, what they thought they were supposed to do, what they believed was available to them.

These aren't conscious decisions. They're ceilings installed by experience, circumstance, and social comparison.

Hand-drawn stick figure facing a narrow cone labeled "What We Think Is Possible"; illustrates self-limiting beliefs constraining our view of options

We end up doing what we think we're supposed to do... following the herd, keeping up with the Joneses... without stopping to ask whether that's actually where we want to go.

Hand-drawn stick figure facing a narrow cone labeled "What the Joneses Do"; illustrates defaulting to social comparison instead of personal values

Self-limiting beliefs don't announce themselves. They just show up as crickets when someone asks what you actually want.

PLANNING EXPANDS WHAT'S POSSIBLE

A good planning process does what a plan document never can. The discovery process, the questions, the conversations, the guidance, they open up possibilities you didn't know existed.

Consider someone who never thought about retiring early and moving across the country to be near their grandchildren. It seemed impossible; nobody had ever asked if they wanted it, or whether it was actually within reach. Through the planning process they discover not only that it's possible, but that it's exactly right. The original Point B was too small.

Hand-drawn stick figure with lines fanning wide, labeled "Planning Expands Possibilities"; shows how planning widens the cone of options

Resilience is the ability to bounce back (or grow) from stress and adversity. The ability to maintain physical, mental, and emotional well-being in the face of setbacks. Learn more about how resilient you are.

DEVELOP YOUR VISION

There's a tension worth naming. Expanding the possibilities introduces the paradox of choice. If the inherited path has one advantage, it's that someone else makes the decisions. When you suddenly see twelve options instead of one, the question becomes: now what?

The resolution isn't to go back to the inherited path. It's to do the values work first.

Hand-drawn stick figure facing a wide cone labeled "Possible Outcomes"; illustrates the paradox of choice before values work is done

As Roy Disney said, "When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier."

When you've used your values to craft a vision... a vivid picture of the future you actually want to move toward... your brain starts noticing paths that were always there but invisible before. The reticular activating system doesn't filter for what's realistic. It filters for what matters. Give it something worth looking for.

A good planning process doesn't tell you where to go. My professors didn't tell me what to do. They gave me permission to choose. Most people have never been asked what they actually want. Most people have never asked themselves.

Hand-drawn stick figure facing a wide cone labeled "Possible Outcomes" narrowing to "Vision"; shows how values focus the field of options

GET THE BEST LIFE POSSIBLE... INCLUDING WHAT YOU HAVEN'T IMAGINED

Financial life planning was never about how to get to Point B. It's about what if Point B is bigger than you thought?

Your money is a tool. So is the planning process. Both exist to help you find and fund the life you actually want, including the parts you haven't given yourself permission to want yet.

I was on the fourth floor of a library trying to figure out how to get a job somewhere.

Nobody told me what to do.

That question has been answering itself ever since.

You get one life; live intentionally.

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